WHO IS MY FRIEND??

I felt grave concern recently when my niece told me that her husband has no friends. How could that be?  My nephew has always seemed to me to be warm, friendly and outgoing.  I was shocked. Yet, after some thought I realized that her comment had merit and that realization plagued me.

 

I view friends as extended family.  They are important to my psyche, my well being and provide me and my family strength in troubled times.  As a result of this exchange with my niece, I asked myself, "What is friendship?" 

 

One has to be a friend to have friends.  Friendship must be nurtured.  We can have many acquaintances but that is not the same as friends.  Acquaintances are people you know and who you greet casually e.g., "Hello there – how nice to see you", inquire about their health – "how have you been?" -- family – "how is the family?"  Oh, you may even go so far as to say "let's do lunch" – especially if you live in or near Hollywood.  Acquaintances are not people with whom we share interests, family stories, hobbies or with whom we wish to travel and do things just "for the hell of it". Acquaintances tend to come from working associates, may be a neighbor, someone from our church or even someone that we went to school with, met at a seminar or at a party.  They are the people we meet, know slightly and share few, if any, mutual interests or bond. While these "chance" meetings can sometimes result in long term friendships of decades but it can result in a long term acquaintance. I am often perplexed when people refer to casual acquaintances as "friends".  I often wonder if people who are quick to identify casual acquaintances as friends know what it is to be a friend.   

 

So, who are our friends?  My friends are from various walks of life but none of my close friends are people that I have known less than five years – most go back at least 10 years and many are from my childhood though admittedly those friendships are maintained at considerable effort.  I have my friends, my husband has his friends and we have our friends but in all cases they are all people with whom we both share mutual interests, hobbies, adventures and enjoy.  His friends have become my friends and my friends have become his friends.  Our relationships with each others friends are different.  Nevertheless, they are friends in whom we have a vested interest. Our friends, his, mine and ours, are people that we invite into our home, like to share a meal with, enjoy good conversation and spirited discussions and whose company we take pleasure in.  When our children were growing up, their children were our children's friends and vice versa.  Our friends also enjoy our company and show it by reciprocating in kind.  Although friendship may result from a chance meeting it is rare.  Friends, like family, cannot be taken for granted. 

 

It seems to me that many of us, in this modern age of television, cars, entertainment availabilities and busy lifestyle have lost our ability to form good friendships.  We have forgotten (some have never known) what it means to be and have a friend.  We work all week long, our weekends are spent in preparing for the week to come and we covet our valuable quality family time.  There is just not enough time to devote to developing friends.  We have forgotten to stop and smell the roses or perhaps more aptly put, slow down and cultivate the art of friendship.  It is as important to the development of our children as the quality time spent at the little league game or the dance ballet that we attend for little Johnny or Bonnie.   Perhaps it is time we all form a new alliance and learned to be a friend.

 

 

 

SENATOR LOTT NEEDS ENLIGHTENMENT

The rhetoric about the proposed legislation dealing with immigration continues and Senate sources report that this legislation will be revisited perhaps before the July 4 recess. It remains unclear whether the bill will be amended sufficiently to resolve the issues that are objectionable. Certainly, the supporters of the bill would like for us to believe that their current efforts should be passed without amendments and that we should accept the proposed bill out of hand. Thankfully, there has been a demand from the rank and file for our politicians to get it right.

The New York Times reported this week that Republican whip, Trent Lott said that “Talk radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem.” The paper went on to report that Mr. Lott also said that Senate Republican leaders may try to rein in “younger guys who are huffing and puffing against the bill.” These statements truly must be the most asinine statements of the week and if not, surely it ranked right up there with the worst. One could expect better from Mr. Lott.

Perhaps Mr. Lott does not understand that talk radio is the vehicle by which people are making their views known and sharing them with others who may have similar concerns. Perhaps it is time that the politicians got the message that talk radio is not the problem, political incompetence is. Perhaps it is time that we removed all sitting politicians and put in their place new faces, new ideas, new thoughts and new enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, too many people remain committed and loyal to the party line and as long as that is our approach in making political judgment, we are doomed. It is time that we all stood up and acted in unison not for the sake of politics but for the sake of what is best for our country. Immigration policy requires our attention and we must demand that our politicians listen. Write your Senators and your congressmen. Make your views known and demand that our borders be secured and that an equitable, fair immigration plan be passed. We need to put pressure on our elected representatives and the President to get it right – we must not settle for anything less.

A REAL PLAN?

This morning on his radio show, Bill O’Reilly presented his idea for a fair immigration plan. He prefaced his remarks that he believed it to be a plan that most Americans could support. I agree. Every American who reads this "blog" should write their elected representative and the President of the United States and demand that they consider these suggestions and debate their merits.

I don't know about you, the reader, but I personally find the ongoing debate and politicizing of this important matter disgusting. I am tired of political positioning. It is time the politicians concentrate on doing the citizens business and leave to the electorate to rate their justification to serve based on the fruits of their labor.

From Bill O’Reilly’s web site.

“1) secure the southern border with 700, not 300 miles of barrier, double the border patrol and back them up with 10,000 National Guards people. That would effectively shut down human and drug smuggling from Mexico.

2) require all illegal aliens in the country right now to register at the post office with Homeland Security. After registering, they would be given a tamper proof ID card, designating their status and their right to work temporarily in the USA. If the illegal aliens do not register, it's a criminal felony. Right now sneaking across the border is a civil action. Remember that. Subjecting the person to immediate deportation or jail time. The criminal penalty goes way up.

3) any business that hires an illegal worker who doesn't have a tamper proof ID card faces draconian fines and possible prison time for the executives.

4) Each illegal alien would have his case reviewed by federal authorities. And they would decide who would receive a Z-visa to stay and who would not. That takes the blanket amnesty, something many American hate, off the table. It also allows the feds to make rational decisions about who's helping America and who isn't.

Under that banner, no illegal alien who commits a crime while here would be allowed to stay. Also under that program, no welfare of any kind would be paid to folks here illegally. They'd have to work for their living.”



Thank you Bill O’Reilly. It is good to know that someone in America is actually thinking.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION

I am conservative in my thought process as well as in my financial, social and political practices. I do not mean to nit pick the proposed new law as drafted by SB 1348 but there are issues that must be addressed and that are not addressed i.e., it does not provide proper checks and balances to resolve the issues of illegal immigration. It does not provide for proper enforcement now or in the future. It only provides for a way to “save face” and give the illegal immigrants already here a legal path to stay in our country. These people knowingly violated our laws and we need to implement laws that will stick, that will be implemented and will provide security.

I don’t have the impression that either the President,our elected representatives or the Senators who drafted SB 1348 have any such commitment. Therefore, I urge the Congress to continue to debate and hopefully close up the loop holes and do what needs to be done to present a bill that meets the needs of our country and secures its future. SB 1348 as it reads now – is not a satisfactory bill to resolve the issues before us in my opinion. The President appears willing to settle for anything that will get this “Achilles heel” off his back and the Democratic controlled Congress appears willing to provide yet another band aid for something that sorely requires intensive care. Let’s face it – none of our elected representatives want to truly handle the problem and therein is my problem with SB 1348.