I do not understand what is happening in this country! I am
85 years old. I grew up in a rural religious community and later moved to a
nearby small town. My friends were the
same from early childhood until I left home after graduation from High School.
From the age of 10, keeping the boys at bay and keeping them in their place was
part of the development scene. I
personally underwent an incident similar to what is alleged against Judge Kavanaugh
in our High School gym and fellow students intervened. No teacher knew and the boy remained a good
friend throughout his life and was an upstanding citizen in the community,
accepted for his gay life choice. There
were other students who observed the incident and not one would remember it
today.
This incident was not sexual but
nevertheless, by today’s standards, the boy (about 16 at the time) and I would
have undergone severe and traumatizing scrutiny and his life (and perhaps mine) could have been forever blemished in the
community. I remember the incident
today because of all the claims, outcry and accusations and wonder “why” the fuss. Rape is wrong and must be acknowledged. Sexual harassment in the workplace must be managed and needs to be dealt with but in my opinion too many women are using irresponsible acts of immaturity, disrespect and abuse as reasons to label otherwise good citizens. Questionable conduct must be confronted. As a former employee in the entertainment industry (CBS to be precise) I learned this lesson first hand.
I had forgotten my childhood incident but as women
come forth with their accusations and claims of trauma I remembered it and that caused me to question their
motives. Are we putting too much
emphasis on "me too" memories by trying to
legislate morality and not enough on teaching our children rules, respect and
the dos and don’ts of life? The Me Too crowd wants to make an issue of things that
happened in a bygone era, much of which was either consensual or a matter for
rejection.
In my youth, keeping hormone
active boys in their place was dating 101.
As I think back, I recall at least 10 events that I personally
experienced that involved questionable and possibly illegal behavior by today’s
standards. To have pursued an action
against those young men would have ruined their life and certainly created a
drama that would have left me forever marred.
I had brothers and I understood the problems of young men at that age. Those young men who made inappropriate
sexual advances grew up, married, had families and became pillars of
society. Was I a target? Was I to
blame? I was neither pretty nor flirty
and I did not wear attire that was suggestive so go figure! I took solace that others had similar problems
so I don’t think I was any different.
When I grew up, girls who succumbed to the sexual advances
of hormone active young men were known labeled and had a reputation for
promiscuity. Just for the record, I was
a virgin when I married my husband 67 years ago this October 7 and I have never
had sex with any man other than my husband. In spite of many questionable acts
of behavior directed at me in my youth, I suffered no shattered mental drama,
no fear of men and certainly, no ill will toward any boys who acted inappropriately
during my youth. Yes, there were
instances of questionable conduct and even inappropriate conduct but I acted
appropriately as I was taught by my parents and my older brothers.
If anything untoward happened in Judge Cavanaugh’s
youth, he has proven himself to be a
good citizen and responsible member of society.
I am heart sick that any man who has suffered through childhood
development in a different era when sexual guidelines were not yet developed can now in later years be ostracized by society because of youthful over active hormones! (Guidelines that are
nothing more than use a condom, take a
birth control pill or just say yes and
if there is pregnancy, get an abortion).
I would like for every member of the Committee to be quizzed
on what they did on their dates in their youth.
How many can actually say that
they neither engaged in nor were subjected to some degree of inappropriate sexual advances in their youth and did any of
those advances occur when either party was under the age of 18?
Come on America – get real.
How can we ever have great romantic literature if we take sex out of
romance?
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